I'm not going to talk about results so if that's what you're here for then leave. Now.
(Please don't leave, I need friends.)
That said, I hope those of you who got results are pleased with them, and if you're not, you're eating bad ASDA Smart Price chocolate (we all know that's what Jesus would eat).
This brings me onto the actual purpose of this blog, which is me causing you to slowly and painfully wither away while I talk about myself, as if that hasn't happened already. For those of you who manage to survive, you can look forward to a fairly tedious list of things I like and dislike. People, ketchup brands, pasta shapes, music, flowers, feminism and TV programmes. Lucky you.
1. Heinz*. Any other brand is a sin against the entire human population. And tomatoes. The ring leader of this disgusting-ketchup-cult is Sainsbury's' own brand. I don't know whose job it is to control the brands of ketchup they stock but whoever it is needs a serious priority upheaval. And any of you who dare like it need to have a serious look at your lives.
(*btdubz*, it's available at poundland)
*by the way/for your information
2. Spaghetti. Any of you who are fortunate enough to know me (up close and personal yo) will be well aware of this addiction. I even asked for it for my birthday. I think I got about 6 packets overall. I could list so many foods but you already got all that in my second post so I won't go into it again (even though I could talk about it for hours).
3. Lily Allen. I literally love her a bit more (if it's possible) each time I think about her. That sounded so creepy and stalkery and maybe slightly lesbian but it is the absolute truth. Her lyrics are hilarious and actually tackle tough topics like the objectification of women and internet trolls. (I think it's so odd that we use the same name for someone who 'shows discord on the internet by starting arguments or upsetting people' as a 'supernatural being in Norse Mythology and Scandinavian Folklore'. I imagine the troll from the first harry potter film sitting behind a computer posting comments on photos of Britney Spears). Her videos are also great, most of them are really odd due to her alarming sense of humour and dress sense so I love them.
4. Feminism. 64 times out of 72, when I tell a guy (or even a gal) I'm a feminist, I can actually smell fear and see the panic behind their eyes. People are so scared of the word because of the violent/scary things people think it connotes but really it just means I don't agree with gender pay gaps and girls being expected* to make sandwiches for their boyfriends. I'm a feminist. Run.
*There's no crime in a devoted girlfriend making her boyfriend a sandwich (or any sort of food) if she's feeling generous but it is definitely not on the checklist.
5. Nashville, Made in Chelsea and The Vampire Diaries. In case you are interested in blessing your life (and TV screen) with these programmes, I'll give y'all a breakdown. Nashville is set in the city Nashville, Tennessee (in the U.S) and centres around the music industry there. It is fictional and amazing and full of beautiful country music. Made in Chelsea is a series that basically follows rich English people around. If you do happen to watch it, don't worry, it's all staged. The Vampire Diaries is.........perfect. I actually hated the first series because, having read the book, I felt the characters were undeveloped and unrealistic but once I got into it, there was no stopping me. I watched like 2 episodes a day for half a year (I started when they were already on series 4). It is pretty self-explanatory but in case you have no clue, it's about a girl who falls in love with a vampire. And another one*. And back to the first one again. Then back to the second one. Watch it. Love it.
*It's not just her that falls in love with him. You need to look after your heart if you decide to become a fan and prepare for it to be broken. So many times.
6. Little mini fake flowers. Don't get me wrong, I love real flowers too but these are low maintenance, don't take up any space and look SO CUTE. You can buy them from craft shops, I think. These are also self explanatory. I have put lillies, and different colour roses in bottles on my shelf. Three of which are Coca Cola bottles (one is glass, one says Lily and one is wearing lingerie) and one is a pink lemonade glass bottle.
7. Eliza Doolittle. I would have to say she is up there with Lily Allen on my girl crush list. No, she doesn't write as poignant or hilarious lyrics as Lily but she does write some fab songs*. She is very similar to Lily in that she has a ridiculously amazing voice, weird but wonderful dress sense and a frankness when it comes to song lyrics. She's just good with words, guys.
*Faves are Team Player and Missing Kissing.
8. Angelina Jolie. I have so many girl crushes, soz guyssss. I love, love, LOVE Angelina. She is a UNHCR Goodwill Ambassador which means she visits countries and raises "awareness of the plight of these people". She also co-lead a campaign against sexual violence in military conflict zones. All whilst having six kids and awesome cheekbones.
Well that's it. Can I just mention, I started this post at like 11 o clock this morning so it's taken me 10 hours to write. During that time, I have watched an episode of The Great British Bake Off, googled 'trolls from norse mythology', scrolled through the Everyday Sexism site, spent at least an hour on Lily Allen's wikipedia page (and about half an hour on Angelina's), eaten some aubergine thing, read my 4 year old brother about 73 stories, listened to the albums Sheezus by Lily Allen and In Your Hands by Eliza Doolittle and stared at hundreds of photos of Ian Somerhalder.
I am the queen of procrastination.
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